


Enough

by whimsy_muse



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crushes, I'm Sorry, M/M, Moving On, Unrequited Love, just a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 14:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10362957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsy_muse/pseuds/whimsy_muse
Summary: The minute Daichi realized that he was in love with his bestfriend, he knew he was screwed.





	

     The minute Daichi realized that he was in love with his best friend, he knew he was screwed. All Suga did was laugh at one of his terrible 'dad jokes' - as they're usually called - but this time. This time it was different.

     His palms starts sweating, his chest tightened and he couldn't bring himself to think straight. He just stared in awe at the boy before him; at the bright smile that reached his warm chestnut eyes and crinkled at the corners. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get himself to join in with Suga's laughter and once it faded, he was met with a confused stare and he was forced to look away. Daichi cursed his flaming cheeks and every single emotion he was feeling, but could put a name to because - no. He could not have a crush on his best friend.

     Ever since that day, he couldn't get Suga out of his mind. He tried to suppress it, he really did. But, he always caught himself subconsciously thinking about him. In stores, he would wonder what Suga would like. When he's out on his morning jog, he would think about what it would be like to see the sunrise with Suga, whether he preferred dusk or dawn. He saw him in everything and Daichi couldn't help it.

     He hated it - not having control. He was _always_ in control: of his reactions, of his emotions, of everything. Heck, he was even captain of the volleyball team, but he couldn't control this. He couldn't control the way his eyes followed Suga, the want he had to be closer to him, or even his words around him. What's worse, is that he started to get possessive. He would feel pangs of jealousy whenever Suga acted even remotely flirtatious with someone and those feelings made Daichi feel… dirty. What right did he have to feel like that? Suga was a person, a friend - his best friend. Another reason why Daichi had to make the feelings stop.

     But he just couldn't and when the dreams started, he started to not want them to. There was something about the dreams that made his fantasies seem possible. Like if he just stretched his hand out a little further, there Suga would be, happy to take his hand. They were innocent dreams, barely any different than what they did already, but they felt like some much more. In one, they were just lying on the grass together staring at the clouds. Suga's head leaning against Daichi's shoulder and Daichi's hand fitting perfectly into Suga's waist. It was serene and comfortable. Perfect. In another they were just lying in bed talking about everything and nothing. About how they were finally together and how they were happy. It was so real and it felt so right. Daichi woke up that morning beyond happy, he couldn't stop smiling. But once he turned over and took in his surroundings, the empty spot beside him seemed to grow colder. He tried to go back to sleep. Everything about the dreams felt so _real_ : the light conversations, the warmth in Suga's eyes, the love in the air. It was so real it hurt. It wasn't enough.

     If he had to admit it, it was _him_ who wasn't enough. What did he have to offer anyways? His plain hair? His dad like personality? His average academics? In comparison to Suga's ethereal beauty. His calming personality that could pacify anything and anyone. And his incredible intelligence and patience. What could Daichi offer that Suga would ever want?

     Sure, they were friends, but being friends and being in a relationship are completely different. When you're with someone you fill each other's gaps in order to become one. Daichi's mediocre self could never be good enough to fill in the space next to Suga. He just had to accept that.

     Suga treated him no different than his other close friends. They would tease each other and joke around. They would cuddle on couches during movies and hold hands just because. But that didn't really _mean_ anything. Suga did that will all of his close friends. It meant nothing to Suga, but everything to Daichi.

     Eventually, Daichi went numb to it all. Numb to the smiles, numb to the touches, numb to the dreams. He'd had enough. He realized that he was a good actor. He could still act like himself around Suga and everyone else as if he never had the crush. So well in fact, that _he_ started to believe it himself.

     He never felt that feeling again. The quickening pulse, the tightening chest, the sweaty palms, none of it. Not since he lost touch with Suga. The feeling only happened once and was so far away that Daichi couldn't even remember what it was like. He still got into relationships, but they never felt right. It was like he was forcing himself to feel something, something he'd lost long ago, or maybe he never had it to begin with. He didn't know. He _wanted_ to go back, even if it was just to feel if what he felt was real because ever since, everything he felt just never felt like enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading my first fic on this site. I kind of just wrote this to get some feels off my chest and I wanted to write for these two. Don't let the angst fool you, I love this pair and I think they're perfect, but who can't relate to feeling some insecurity about their crushes??


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